15 Secrets of Happy Families

From the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family to the Cleavers, Cunninghams, and Cosbys, images of happy families have rarely been in short supply. We all have ideas about what they should look like.

Does yours fit the portrait of a happy family? If not, don't despair. Now WebMD is letting you in on a few of the secrets to a happy family. You, too, can experience some of the domestic bliss that seemed previously reserved just for TV families.

Happy Family Secret No. 1: Enjoy Each Other

The essence of a happy family is that they truly uplift each other and that all comes down to how they treat each other, says Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, a New York-based family and relationship counselor and host of The Learning Channel's Shalom in the Home. "There is a joy that characterizes their interaction," says Boteach, father of eight children and author of several books, including the forthcoming Shalom in the Home. "Parents come home and the kids are happy to see them and when kids come home, the parents are happy to see them."

Happy Family Secret No. 2: Swap Stories

"When your kids come home, ask them what happened in school and have a story for them," he says. "If you come home dejected and not really interested and then five minutes later the TV is on, why would they be happy to see you?"

The bottom line, he says, is that when you come home, your kids have to come first. "You must drop everything you are doing and always come home with something to share with your kids, whether a story or even the smallest vignette," he says. "This way you give your kids something to look forward to. The great bane of family life is boredom and that is what leads to dysfunction, affairs, and kids wanting to be with their friends over family."

Happy Family Secret No. 3: Put the Marriage First

"Set a real example of love," Boteach says. "The relationship and Marriage must come first." Think Carol and Mike Brady of the Brady Bunch and Cliff and Clair Huxtable of the Cosby Show.

There are many families where kids always come first, says Boteach. Then they become substitute providers of love, he says. "That's an unfair burden to put on a kid." It's also bad for families, he says, "because kids will move out of the house eventually."

How To End A Relationship In Your 30’S

When you are in your 30s, you begin to realize your expectations about dating had changed when you were in your 20s. During this time, you’ve been in many relationships, probably some serious ones too, and now you know what you and don’t want in a partnership. Relationships can end for many reasons, and breakups in your 30s can be quite distressful than in your 20s, given that you were more committed to that relationship.

But there is a way to do it without inflicting too much pain on either side and also end a loveless relationship with honesty, care and your honor intact.

Be Honest About the Issue

Breakup just doesn’t happen all of a sudden. Breakups occur because you and your partner might be arguing or fighting more than getting along or knowing each other, or there are problems with your job or finances, addictions or just not trusting or respecting each other.
You’re in your 30s, and you realize that you don’t have the time and effort to invest in this relationship hoping things would get better.

Find Out Who Is Responsible

Being in a relationship in your 30s is much realistic and intertwined than in your 20s. If you guys are living together, figure out who will be moving out, who will take custody of the pets (if you have any), or who will be paying off the debts, or any outstanding obligations like rent, car insurance, upcoming vacations and so on. You have to settle these issues as you, and your significant other won’t like to deal with it after the breakup.

Do It for Your Best Interest

Breakups are difficult to cope with as they leave lasting pain and emotional scars in you and your partners’ lives. So, try to control your emotions and don’t let your anger and bitterness take over, at least, not to the extent of damaging bonds you have created while you were in the relationship. We won’t deny it takes courage and emotional maturity to have these conversations, but most couples just end the relationship because they don’t even try to do something about, which they regret later.

Take Some Time to Grieve

Breakups are agonizing and difficult to cope, but you will get over a breakup. So, take some time to grieve, focus on yourself and contemplate about the situation. Don’t hesitate to experience anger, sadness, regret about the loss of your partner, and the fear that you won’t find love again. However, don’t exert too much pressure on yourself as it will delay the healing process. Instead, try to figure out what attracted you to start a relationship with this person, why the relationship failed and what part did you play that lead to it. It will help you move forward and start a new relationship.

Take accountability For Your Decisions

Be accountable for your part about why this relationship didn’t meet your expectations. It is important because if you aren’t honest about it, you will end another relationship and blame the other person for it. The grieving process after the breakup is a major step in rebuilding your life, maintaining the best qualities of yourself and using it to search a new person to start a new relationship.

When Your Marriage Is Dying

Reconciliation and forgiveness are the keys to recovery.
Unforgiveness is like acid; it destroys the vessel in which it's stored. —Author Unknown

The very word reconciliation causes many separated couples to break out in a cold sweat. They panic at the thought of exposing their battered hearts to another potential beating. They're certain they can't face another rejection or betrayal. Sadly, few people are taught how to guard their heart and require trust to be re-earned when the covenant has been broken. They're so determined to avoid being vulnerable, they won't entertain thoughts of reconciliation. Yet, even marriages that have gradually decayed over many years can be restored.

Let me state clearly that I detest divorce; the devastation involved is heart-wrenching. I firmly believe it should be avoided if at all possible. I am totally committed to marital restoration and would dance a jig if a "going out of business" sign could be hung on my divorce-recovery ministry. However, the reality is that it takes two people to get married and only one to get divorced. And herein lies the problem.

For the person who wants the marriage to be restored, the most perplexing question is "How do I know when to accept the fact that my spouse does not want this marriage and recognize this as reality in my life?" Most church leaders, parents, pastors, family members, and individuals seek a "formula" to answer this question. Unfortunately, there is no such recipe because each situation is unique and should be addressed as such.
However, there are some essential steps couples must take if reconciliation is to be successful.

First, both spouses must be one hundred percent willing to do the hard work necessary to repair the marriage. The journey will be challenging, exasperating, and at times painful, but the results are worth it.

Second, if one or both spouses has had an intimate relationship (physical or emotional) with a third party, all communication with that person—phone calls, letters, e-mails, or visits—must end. If the third party is a co-worker, a job change should seriously be considered.

Third, both parties must be willing to go to counseling. The couple should take time to find the right Christian counselor, someone who is qualified to deal with the issues they're struggling with such as adultery, addiction, or abuse. Finding the right counselor is like buying a pair of shoes; sometimes you have to try on several pairs before you find the right fit.

Fourth, restoring a marriage takes time. Rushing the process and avoiding or downplaying painful issues can lead to separation and divorce. It's tragic when a marriage that could have been reconciled is destroyed because the root cause was never treated.

A marriage can't be restored if only one person wants reconciliation, but that doesn't mean you should give up hope. Just because your spouse isn't willing to reconcile today doesn't mean he or she will never consider it. God understands how hard it is to pray life into a dead marriage. He will give you strength and wisdom and knowledge of what to pray. He will help you know when you should pursue reconciliation and when you should accept that the marriage is irreconcilable. "Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know" (Jeremiah 33:3 NASB).

The other day my wife came home from work and said she's leaving me because she doesn't love me anymore. I'm stunned that my marriage might be over. I don't want it to end. What can I do?

I know this is a fierce blow, but do your best to calmly ask your wife to give you a more in-depth answer as to why she's leaving you.

Be careful about how you react to her rejection. Angry outbursts won't help you reconcile the marriage. Neither will self-pity, whining, clinging, begging, or threats of suicide. Getting even by dating or having an affair also won't work. Those behaviors communicate to your wife that she is off the hook. As an added bonus, they relieve her guilt because she then feels justified in leaving.

You can tell your wife that although you're deeply hurt, you're willing to learn from her where you may have failed the marriage. Ask for reconciliation, but recognize that she might not respond positively at first.

Explain why you believe there is hope for your marriage and the steps you're willing to take to improve the relationship. Share with your wife that you value the marriage so deeply you're willing to go for counseling. You can't force her to agree to reconciliation, but you can encourage the decision and you can pray.

One consideration: I've observed that people having an affair often ease their conscience by saying, "I don't love you anymore" or "I'm just not happy," rather than saying, "I'm leaving you for someone new." If your wife is having either an emotional or physical affair, you'll need to see a counselor.

My husband left, and I can't afford our huge house. My friends tell me to sell it, but I'm afraid that will destroy any chances of restoring our marriage. Won't selling the house communicate to my husband that I've given up?

It's normal to assume losing the home you shared will end any hope of restoring the marriage, but it's unfounded. View the sale as a good thing. If finances were an issue in the separation, then downsizing might relieve one stress factor. Remember, reconciling doesn't mean going back to the way things were; it means starting fresh.

I had a yearlong affair. I've asked my wife to forgive me, but she says she can't ever trust me again. Is there a way to get my wife back?

The cliché "actions speak louder than words" is true. Words aren't enough to prove your repentance. For there to be hope, your wife will need to see over a period of time that you're a changed man.

Communicate your sincerity by doing the following:

1.Get counseling even if she won't go with you. Find out why you had an affair—it's crucial for healing.

2.Get into a Christian men's accountability group.

3.Read books such as The Man in the Mirror by Patrick Morley, which address men's issues.

4.Practice humility. Don't demand, manipulate, or try to control your wife's actions or feelings.

5.Admit that you've demonstrated that you're untrustworthy. Mention concrete ways—such as meeting with the pastor, giving her access to your e-mail, and not traveling alone—in which you're willing to be held accountable so that trust can be rebuilt. Let your wife make suggestions, too.

6.Pray for God to soften her heart.
If you do divorce, remain faithful to your marriage covenant and continue to pray for restoration. If your wife remarries, then there is nothing more you can do.

My friends tell me I need to forgive my ex-husband, but I don't think I need to until he asks to be forgiven. He deserves to suffer for what he did to me. Why should I forgive him when he has never admitted he was wrong?

Forgiveness isn't a fun process, but if you want to mend, it's vital. "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15). Notice God says nothing about waiting until you feel like forgiving or that you only have to grant forgiveness if the person asks for it. God expects you to take the first step, beginning with a willing heart.

The ability to pardon another person comes from God, not your own strength. He will help you. Your role is to surrender and desire His way above your own. This may take time, especially if the offenses were severe. Walk toward forgiveness—the initial step is the hardest. 

How To Find Success While Handling A Complicated Relationship?

Relationships become difficult for so many reasons. There can be issues like trust, commitment, long distance or even abusive. The situation uses to worsen day by day and people just do not know how to figure out the problems and lead a happy and fruitful life.

Most people believe that if the relationship is not working out well, then it is better to be separated. However, sometimes our heart doesn’t seem to accept this. Why is this so? This is because the love and care we hold for that person are unconditional and blind. We do not realize that the person we truly love does not deserve our love. Moreover, sometimes we stay in the hope of getting things better someday.

Handling a complicated relationship and finding success in it

Complications need to be worked out. It is not necessary that complications must lead you to the failure, it can be sorted out, and the relationships are saved for good. Here are a few tips to help you work out your complications:

Finding out the main cause

The foremost step while handling a complicated relationship is to find out what is the cause of all the difficulties. Where does the central problem lie? Is it the trust or the commitment issues that are creating problems or is it being abusive? Figuring out and then solving the problems is the first step for a healthy long term relationship.

Open your communication

Mostly challenges and complications occur and prolonged due to the lack of communication. If anything is disturbing you, be open to talking to your partner rather than piling it inside which will build up only misunderstandings between you and your partner. Discussing, giving each other your pieces of mind and clearing things up forms the basis of a healthy relationship.

Make your unhappiness known to your partner

Sometimes you may think that your relationship is not working out properly and that you are unhappy, but your partner does not feel the same. According to him, everything is going just smooth and fine. In such a situation you need to talk to your partner and say your heart out. Tell him what makes you feel bad. Fix what you think is not going well to live a joyful and healthy life.

Get help from your support system

When life seems full of complications, then definitely you need someone with whom you can share your problems. Give them a true picture of what is going on in your life. They can suggest ways overcome difficulties in your life. They can even support and give you the courage to talk to your partner about everything that is upsetting you to clear all the matters for a flourishing life.

Get rid of the obstacles that are complicating your relationship

Are the long, tough working hours and tight schedules are setting you two apart? Well, there is a need to discuss this matter. No need to leave your jobs, but at least you two can sit and spend a quality time together.

Relationships are tricky, and sometimes they end up being a complete mess. Little efforts can help you survive your complicated relationships and make them successful.

3 BIG Things That Make A Man TRULY Ready To Marry You

Wondering what makes a man commit to marriage? Watch out for these signs.

Have you ever wondered why the man with whom you had a great relationship didn't marry you, only to find out later that he married his next girlfriend?

Welcome to the world of men!

It's not fun to find that out. The difference between men and women is that men don't fall in love... they decide to love and become ready for marriage based on these 3 factors:

1. The right timing.
You know they say timing is everything. Well, that's an understatement for men. Timing is the only thing to men. You may say, "I get it but what does timing mean to a man?"

Real men base their decisions on facts, not feelings. They need to know their goals are on track. Men need accomplishment and cannot sleep at night if they don't know where they're going.

It's a simple equation. Once they know where they're going, they decide whom they're going with. There is no other way and this can save you a lot of heartache because it's not about you. This leads to factor number 2, which is about you.

2. The knowledge that he can give you a better life


Real men ask themselves this one simple question when they meet you: "How can I make her life better than it is now?"

(Boys, by the way, do not ask this question and will waste your time and then tell you later, they're not ready for a relationship.)

If the answer is no, then there's no deal. Men know that a woman can only be in love with a man she looks up to. These men won't marry until they are in a position to do so. They have to be able to make your life better.

Boys will just let you take care of them. Watch Chemistry To Commitment to fully understand a man's calculator.

3. Their maturity level

This is the most frustrating factor because men can go years or decades without it, then suddenly have it. Which explains their sudden decisions when they are ready. Of course, it's not a complete mystery.

Look at his family life. Are his parents together? What's his relationship to his mom? It's a sad but true fact that people raised in single parent homes don't know how to marry. They've been taught to go it alone.

Fortunately, we are not set in stone. However please be aware that uphill battles are not a lot of fun. The price of maturity is experience, which is why timing is so important. It's easy to tell what makes a man marry you.

It's timing, a better life and maturity. Read A Life Of Love and let me know how it goes.

James Allen Hanrahan is a dating relationship coach in Los Angeles.

When To Kiss A Girl On A Date – Tips To Make It Easier For You

Going on a date with a beautiful girl is the dream of all but not all men are confident enough to enjoy the evening with the love of their life and get nervous. In fact, they also become shy at the time of their first kiss. Although, kissing someone on the first date sounds very exciting but on the other hand it is very hectic also. Many people also think that how she will react or what she will think about him. So, to overcome all such questions you can take the help of some tips that are very useful. A kiss is a symbol of attraction and affection so no one will kiss you until and unless you will look attractive.

Tips on when to kiss a girl on date
Kissing on the very first date is not wrong at all but it is not right also as you are going to kiss someone whom you do not know. So, it is necessary that you should know when to kiss a girl on a date? Kissing depends upon certain circumstances such as whether the partner is ready or not or if he/she is interested in doing it at the moment. It is the body language that says it all.

Following are some of the tips that can be taken into consideration to know when to kiss a girl on a date:

Give her enough time: Whenever you are going on a date keep in mind that you should give enough time to her. First of all make her feel comfortable and relax. Do all such things that she likes and can make her happy. Start talking about normal things such as weather, restaurant, about her likes-dislikes etc. Give her time as much as she wants because girls are very sweet hearted and need some time to believe any guy.

Is the place perfect?

For kissing someone it is necessary to have a perfect place as you cannot kiss someone in public. Before kissing you should see that in what type of place you are sitting. It should not be overcrowded or a messy place as well the place should be quite enough. It is necessary to keep all these things in your mind because with these tips you will gain confidence and can easily do what you have in your mind. One more added advantage of visiting a quiet place is that you can focus on your date.

Make romantic eye contact: You can make your date more romantic by doing a sexy eye lock. Eye contact is the best tip that you can follow. You can spell the name of your date by seeing in her eyes; this will look very attractive and may be the girl will get attracted towards you. You can communicate with the help of eyes also because your eyes can say such things that you could not speak out. Through this, you can even understand what the girl is trying to indicate and whether she is ready or not for a kiss.

Touch her sensually: If she is still sitting with you and is enjoying your company that means she is interested in you. After this ,you can make your primary move and can touch her in the best and sensual way so, that she can understand your signs. You can keep your hands on her hands and can touch her arms. This will sound very romantic and sensual and if she will be enjoying this then you can move your hands on her neck and then to her ears. Even you can also twiddle the hair and move your hands gently in her hairs.

Have a good breath: Before you start kissing a girl make sure that you have a good breath because no girl will kiss a boy whose breadth smells bad. Before going for a date do not eat something that smells awful like onion or garlic. Instead of this you should carry peppermint or some other things with you that have a good smell. Brush your teeth and keep your tongue clean by using mouth wash. In fact drinking water will be the best option to maintain good oral health. So, this is one of the best tips that must be taken into consideration on when to kiss a girl on a date.

Do little flirting: Flirting can be the best option to setup the mood, try to flirt with the girl as much as you can. This will indicate the girl what you are trying to say. You can do flirting by appreciating her on her looks, dressing sense, figure, eye color, hair etc. And if she will like this then she will punch you in a friendly manner indicating that you can touch her. After this you can playfully touch her which will enlighten the moods and may be the date will become more sensuous.

Be prepared and select the type: Just be prepared before you kiss. Prepare yourself by selecting the type of kiss. Do not feel shy or nervous and remain the way you are. Keep in mind that you are going to kiss a girl so be kind and gentle while kissing. Do not kiss her hardly as it will highlight that you are doing it for the first time. Prepare yourself so well that when you will kiss a girl it sounds that you have already done it and have some sort of experience in kissing. You can also keep this point in consideration on When to kiss a girl on a date.

Make a move: After following all the above tips, if the girl is still pepping you then it means she is attracted towards you. So, here is the time when you can make your move, just kiss her directly no matter what style you prefer. But before you start kissing make sure that the time and place is right. Do it confidently and in the right way. Make her feel that she is in the heaven and is sexually satisfied with the kiss only. You should kiss her like a true gentleman by holding her softly and gently and lowering her back slowly. After this end your kiss gracefully and exit.

Women More Likely To Cheat Than Men, scientifically proved.

Boredom or feeling undervalued can lead to infidelity.

By Emerald Catron

Got a bad case of wandering eye? You're in good company — a survey of 3000 people found that women are more likely to cheat than men.

The poll, taken by British dating firm Coffee & Company, showed that while 9 percent of men were certain they'd be unfaithful if they fell for somebody else, a whopping 25 percent of female respondents said they would definitely have an affair if an outsider piqued their interest.

How do you know if you're likely to wind up in someone else's bed?

The survey claims that women age 35 to 40 were the most likely to dabble in infidelity. One popular reason: Many are childless and looking to get more than a good-night kiss as a result of the tryst, Coffee & Co. reports.

But that's not the only reason why women are more likely to cheat on their partners, the survey says.

Many look for love elsewhere out of feelings of neglect, either physical or emotional. If sex becomes, well, kind of boring and predictable, women may wander away to find someone else who can spice things up.

Feeling emotionally undervalued or just flat-out ignored can also lead to infidelity. If a husband is neglecting his wife so he can, say, work on his ship-in-a-bottle collection, the wife might go on the prowl for a guy who makes her feel good about herself—as opposed to, say, hanging out with a husband who makes her feel less interesting than a tiny ship encased in glass.

It's important to remember that all relationships take work and none are perfect. The solution to unhappiness in love and marriage is probably not to have sex with a stranger. It's much more likely to involve communicating with your significant other and working out your problems—before you do irreparable harm (just 15 percent of men say they would forgive a cheater).

We know, we know: Talking it out with the guy you love sounds considerably less fun than hooking up with a total hottie on your girlcation. But on the plus side, you're far less likely to get an STD simply by having a civilized conversation in your living room. And in the process, you may even save your relationship and remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.

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